Creating sexual tension is paramount in any interaction with a woman. It is the energy or charge of the interaction. Its application is subtle, yet powerful. There are many different conceptualizations of creating sexual tension in the seduction community.
Some examples of these are cocky bantering and flirting, explicit sexual interest paired with false barriers, using the word “sexy” to convey a sexual intent, and of course, the old Speed Seduction route – complex language patterns intended to implant sexual thoughts in a woman’s mind.
Some of these techniques are better than others, and can definitely improve the quality and success of your pickups. Entertain the pure definition of sexual tension because it is grounded in real sexual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by the woman.
Sexual tension is the presence of a controlled arousal state, in the absence of overt sexual interest.
When the time is right, create sexual tension by focusing your sexual desire on your woman. Do not make any overt sexual advances. Maintain intrigue and a sense of ambiguity, which keeps her focused on you. Doing so will direct her mind toward sexual thoughts. Your state is transferred to her and she is now aroused. It is then only a matter of handling logistics through leadership and compliance techniques.
Controlled Sexual Arousal State
The key to creating sexual tension is to get into a state of arousal. There are two reasons why a sexually aroused state is so important. The first reason is simple: women love sex. A sexual man is valuable to a woman because he can give her pleasure. Women are attracted to men who are attracted to women.
The second reason is more subtle. There is a phenomenon called “state-transfer.” Have you ever been in a bad mood and a friend came by in a really great, excited mood?
Your mood probably changed and you found yourself smiling and cheering up in spite of yourself.
How do you feel around someone when they are nervous?
You feel nervous too! Think of a time you were with a woman, say a girlfriend, and she was obviously very horny and sexually aroused, but you weren’t doing anything sexual. You probably got excited because she was excited. This is how humans hypnotize each other in everyday life; we transfer our states to each other.
Can you see where this is going?
State transfer may occur on a metaphysical, psychic energy level. But more often, a state is transferred with non-verbal sub-communication. When you are turned on, your voice subtly (or not so subtly) reflects your state, as do your facial expressions, eye contact, manner of touching, body language and a million other little things.
How to Have a Controlled Arousal State
It’s not as simple as just being turned on, although that’s part of it. State control is vital. For instance, if you are nervous or uncomfortable, you won’t be able to get sexually aroused. Not only is state control paramount in seduction, but it is also crucial in life. It allows you to stay calm, generally happy and more productive. In spiritual terms, it is sometimes called “staying centered” or having peace of mind.
The best way to stay calm and comfortable in social situations is an experience. Socialize more, go out (sober) and get experience talking to women. This will help boost your confidence as well.
Furthermore, meditation, good diet, avoidance of harmful indulgences (i.e., drug use, television, internet porn) and regular exercise helps as well.
In order to get turned on, raising your testosterone level will have an incredible effect. Natural ways to increase testosterone include heavy weight training (squats, deadlifts, bench press, etc.), zinc supplementation and if possible, regular sex.
You already know how to get aroused. During your interactions with women, simply focus on what she would look like naked. Imagine whatever fun little thoughts you want to entertain.
The tension component is really an extension of the second level of the Attraction Hierarchy – Intrigue. Intrigue can be described in two ways. It can be seen as a lack of over-validating a woman. As a second view, it can be perceived as getting her attention by being ambiguous and holding back information.
These are flip sides of the same coin. When this is applied to sexual tension, we enter a sexual state, but don’t verbalize our desire.
If we did, she may like it or not, but now she knows where she stands. Essentially, she is validated.
That isn’t bad, but it’s not optimal. She has you figured out and knows you want her, which gives her two options. Either she can forget about you or focus on you.
Another key point about verbalizing sexual interest is that it puts her in a position where she has to agree to it. She must consciously admit that this is leading to sex. Again, that’s not bad but is not optimal, and sometimes can create a mental block in her mind for getting isolated with you.
Imagine sitting in a room with a closed treasure chest in front of you. Then you open it and find gold coins. When is the chest more interesting?
True, the gold coins are great, but there’s no longer a mystery. You can even forget about the gold coins for a while to go watch TV or call a friend because those coins aren’t going anywhere.
But before you know what’s in there, that chest preoccupies your mind and keeps your attention.
Once you have mastered that concept, you’re well on your way!