Problem Solving in Relationships

There is a common misconception that love is all about romance and fun, and we forget that these relationships also encompass arguments and difficult times. The way that people deal with these hard times is important in how a relationship develops, It can define a healthy versus an unhealthy relationship. Keep reading to learn healthy problem skills solving in relationships.

You & Me vs. The Problem

We often get into arguments where we take all of our emotions out on our significant others. It can be hard to rationalize decisions when we are upset, but it’s important that one tries to remain calm. If you know that you can’t remain calm, it’s best to walk away and take some time to control your emotions before you say something that you can’t take back. When you are facing problems with your significant other, the best mindset to have is “you and me vs. the problem” and not “you vs. me”. If someone in the relationship gets upset and they start to put all of the blame on other people, this creates tension between them. When you look at the problem with a mindset of let’s fix the problem, not fix each other, this will help you to remain in a calmer state. In the process of fixing the problem, you also develop and grow as a person.


This is probably the most fundamental way to solve problems in a relationship. When you are able to respectfully communicate your feelings, you will be all around much more open with your partner. Communication is not just expressing yourself, but it includes listening as well. Being able to talk, listen, and read your partner’s non-verbal cues will greatly enhance the problem-solving in your relationship. This is not to say that there will be no problems, you will just be able to solve them in a more healthy manner. When you listen and actually take into consideration what your partner has to say it will help you to at least understand where they are coming from. You have to be able to effectively verbalize how you feel, but it’s just as important to actively listen to your partner and act on what they say. If they tell you about a struggle they are having, don’t just sit on the sidelines, try to alleviate them or just be there as a supportive hand to hold. When you listen and can empathize with your partner, you can start to understand how they specifically deal with their problems.

Everyone has a love language and when you know your partner’s, it can help you to know how to make your partner feel loved. The 5 love languages include: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. Understanding how your partner communicates their love will help you to know how to solve the problems in your relationship.


We expect honesty in our relationships, but it can be much harder than people would expect. When it comes to finances, sex, or really any problem, the most important thing to do is to stay honest. You might think that you are a doing a favor when you don’t tell your partner what is bothering you. It may seem like you are being a burden to your significant other, but if you keep everything inside, it will eat you alive, creating a blockade between you and your partner. Being honest may hurt feelings and it may not feel right at the moment, but at the end of the day, you will be much happier being honest rather than hiding things.

When it comes to problem solving, these tips will help you get in the right direction in your relationships. Healthy problem-solving skills are very important for relationships. Relationships are not the picture perfect ideals that are painted in the movies, there are always conflicts. If you decide as a couple that you will get through your problems together then you can. 

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